Perfect Parenting

Today I took the kids to the Library. I had the great idea that I would zip in check out a few train books for Linus's birthday party, let Linus play around in the little reading area, run some errands and then be home in time for lunch...Yeah right! I quickly came to the conclusion that the library is a mother with two tiny children's worst nightmare. First of all I attempted to keep Linus occupied so that I could type in with one hand while attempting to balance and alternately restrain Owen away from the key board...after some minutes back came my keyword search results for "train..." Now all I need do is keep my three year old within arms or I should probably say "arm" length because I had Owen in the other arm, and attempt to write down the author and title of each of the books while Owen screamed and grabbed at the pencil. After I had managed to write down several authors I thought I was home free. Have you ever attempted to cajole a three year old up and down rows of books in search of Alphabetised last names...McCloud,McCreedy,...McCurses. After doing this for no less than four authors without I single book actually being where it was supposed to be according to the trusty computer I was definitely ready to cursing. It was at this point that Linus decided to throw his book down and refuse to pick it up. I informed him that if he did not pick it up he would have to go to the naughty spot. He refused and I found a corner and sat him there. While I was waiting for him to see reason I perused the shelves around me to discover I had placed in time out in the parenting section! There I spied a book tittled "Perfect Parenting: The Dictionary of 1,000 Parenting Tips" The answer to all my prayers was right there before me. This manual will no doubt teach me how to get my child to walk quietly beside me up and down rows of books, possibly carrying my books for me, and pausing to tell my how much he loves me and how glad he is to be at the library basking in the written word. In a matter of days I am confident that I will be the perfect parent. I will even post some tips so that all two people who read my blog can become perfect parents as well...We're on our way but first I need to go lose my tempter and yell at my kid who refuses to take his nap this afternoon!